This is why I don't like to take pictures of myself. It's not that I think any picture of me is especially bad. The process of it just forces me to visualize myself as seen by other people, and I'm going to be absurdly, unreasonably harsh despite knowing full well that other people don't see it that way.
The "eat like a bird" comment especially reminded me of that. An expression that denotes worry, or concern, yet can feel like a compliment, somehow. I'm glad that you seem to have moved on from that kind of unhealthy thinking.
Hey William - thanks for the comment! I'm not sure I've totally "moved on" but more so accepted that it is a part of myself that I want to give love and compassion to. It's funny, even though I also struggle with the process of being "seen by over people," I love taking photos of myself! I love it because it gives me an opportunity to time travel to memories with cherished friends and family, and to important milestones in my life. I also see portrait photography as an art form, and enjoy the creative process that goes along with it. On the other hand, I have many photos from my past that remind me of times when I felt an abundance of self loathing. These days, I have a growing collection of photos that bring me back to times when I've felt joyous, uninhibited, and alive. But I can only take those photos now because of the ones I took years ago. Seeing my past unhappiness reminds me to enjoy life as fully as I possibly can, to see the beauty in every moment, and to remember that life is so much brighter when I'm out of my head lol.
Also wanted to say, thank you so much for reading and commenting on a few of my essays! I've been a bit MIA on Substack and am just getting to them now. In a landscape with so much content to choose from, I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Excited to check out your pieces too! :)
love u gym accountability buddy ❤️
Love you forever!!! ❤️❤️
This is why I don't like to take pictures of myself. It's not that I think any picture of me is especially bad. The process of it just forces me to visualize myself as seen by other people, and I'm going to be absurdly, unreasonably harsh despite knowing full well that other people don't see it that way.
The "eat like a bird" comment especially reminded me of that. An expression that denotes worry, or concern, yet can feel like a compliment, somehow. I'm glad that you seem to have moved on from that kind of unhealthy thinking.
Hey William - thanks for the comment! I'm not sure I've totally "moved on" but more so accepted that it is a part of myself that I want to give love and compassion to. It's funny, even though I also struggle with the process of being "seen by over people," I love taking photos of myself! I love it because it gives me an opportunity to time travel to memories with cherished friends and family, and to important milestones in my life. I also see portrait photography as an art form, and enjoy the creative process that goes along with it. On the other hand, I have many photos from my past that remind me of times when I felt an abundance of self loathing. These days, I have a growing collection of photos that bring me back to times when I've felt joyous, uninhibited, and alive. But I can only take those photos now because of the ones I took years ago. Seeing my past unhappiness reminds me to enjoy life as fully as I possibly can, to see the beauty in every moment, and to remember that life is so much brighter when I'm out of my head lol.
Also wanted to say, thank you so much for reading and commenting on a few of my essays! I've been a bit MIA on Substack and am just getting to them now. In a landscape with so much content to choose from, I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Excited to check out your pieces too! :)