Allow Yourself to Dream

Can our dreams be real?

How often do you allow yourself to dream? What do you see when you do? (Don’t worry, nobody is going to see what’s inside your mind.) Imagine what your life could look like if there were no limitations. Can you see it? Good.

Now, I’d love to ask: what does your life look like now? Are there any elements of your life that you are living *now* that you once dreamed of? Without knowing all of the details of your personal life, I’m willing to bet that the answer is yes. Living a human life comes with its fair share of triumphs and disappointments. While our hearts beat out their daily rhythms, there are some dreams that we meet in reality, and there are others that remain dreams. But what is the difference between the dreams that are realized and the ones that are not? We may say:

If I had more time…

If I had more money…

If I was braver…

If XYZ hadn’t happened//If XYZ had happened…

While rationalizing why our lives are the way that they are, it is tempting to view our circumstances from a place of lack. The pervasiveness of this coping strategy has reached a point of becoming a running joke. Many of us have met real-life examples of people who utter cliches like, “I could have gone pro if I hadn’t gotten injured.”

In the statement, you can swap out physical injuries and professional sports for anything. “I could have _________if_________.”

Have you ever found yourself saying this sentence? What fills your blanks? The chilling reality behind these blanks is that it is simply a story you tell yourself about why you haven’t achieved your dreams. You can argue with me about the sports example, but Google any top athlete and most of them will have a list of serious past injuries. This doesn’t mean that anybody can become a professional athlete, but it does show that injuries do not always signify the end of a career.

Only you know when your story started, but the why is obvious. It’s painful to feel like the life you dreamed of has not happened, or is out of reach. If you’ve been here for a while though, you know I’m never going to lead you down a doomer path. Even if you’ve been telling yourself versions of these stories for decades, all hope is not lost. You are not the stories you tell yourself and, in order to reach the dreams that tug at our souls, we must learn to drop the “if only,” stories that keep us stuck.

Earlier this month, it was Rosa Parks’ birthday. An activist during the battle for civil rights in the U.S., she became a national symbol in 1955 when she refused to vacate her seat on a bus to allow a white passenger to sit down. Rosa Parks saw a vision for a different world – one where racial segregation was no longer the status quo, and where she and other Black people could sit on a damn bus and not be disrespected. Because of her civil disobedience, she inspired many others to do the same. And in 1956, the case Browder vs. Gayle ruled that segregation on public transportation was unconstitutional. Parks is just one example in a long list of activists, revolutionaries, and changemakers who dared to dream bigger, and who refused to be stuck inside “if onlys.” Unfortunately, racism is by no means “solved” in America and there’s much to be done. But one of the ways we do this is by taking our dreams seriously. The fact is, if we cannot believe in our dreams for another world, then how do we expect to ever get there?

Our world is an interconnected web. We all live on the same Earth and breathe the same air. Our dreams are interconnected too. When people take steps towards their dreams, it paves the way for others to do the same. We aren’t meant to ignore what inspires us and what sets our souls on fire. Why would you have so many dreams brewing inside of you if none of them were meant to be realized? Let me let you in on a little secret: the universe doesn’t place unattainable dreams inside you just to make you miserable. They are there because you are meant to look them in the eyes. Not all dreams are meant to happen, but we are meant to go on a journey to find out which ones are.

Dreams are unique to every individual. We may have similar ones but, because no two people on Earth have the same exact thoughts or life experiences, they will differ in key ways. Remembering this not only helps us stay committed to our dreams, but it also encourages us to resist the mindset that other people are a threat to our dreams. Contrary to what many of us believe, there are plenty of seats at the table. The world isn’t meant to have just one writer, just one activist, just one musician. There are meant to be many, and our existence to and from one another makes the web of connection stronger.

You might feel distrustful of your dreams because they feel too big, or too different from your current reality. Maybe you do not follow them because you fear the shame or disappointment should you fail. That’s all normal. After all, our human instincts train us to avoid that which is scary. But avoiding dreams creates another kind of misery – one where we will forever say, “if only...”

I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a pretty boring way to live. It’s so easy to focus on what you do not have. Make the shift and ask yourself what you do have at this moment. Then ask yourself which stories are holding you back (and which ones are longing to step forward).

A life well-lived is not about spinning a story that helps you sleep at night, it’s about having the courage to follow the blazing fires of your heart. It is telling a new story and, in this story, you take action. What is the teensiest action you can take to get closer to your dream reality today?